I am a white person.

It's a lot. 

A pandemic, 

a potential civil war, 

a fascist American monarchy, 

and white supremacy seeped so deeply into this society 

and consequently scattered inside of me. 

Let me write this plainly. I am a white person. 

Because of this light skin, I have privilege. 

What does privilege mean? 

Immunity. 

I am not looking for pity. I promise I won't use my white woman's tears to save me. I am not the victim here. I am part perpetrator, partially to blame for my own miseducation and partially to blame for my own inaction. It is on me now to do the work. So I am seeking and finding more author educators. Brilliant Black people to read and learn from. That's what I should be doing right now actually, starting chapter three of the book, Me and White Supremacy. I thought I understood what was happening, but I have been skimming the surface. It is not enough to empathize with victims of incredible inequality and unwavering brutality. It is not enough to imagine the same thing happening to me and my family. It is not enough to weep. It is not enough to not be blatantly racist. This is what I've learned so far. I must learn how to be anti-racist. I also must seek and act and change. 

I know the weight of my civil rights reality check is feather-light compared to the heavy load a Black mother must be currently holding, sending her babies out into this deeply racist country during a pandemic and a potential civil war where a fascist American monarch is screaming support for police brutality and white supremacy. Let's all remember what he said about the white people wearing automatic weapons on the steps of a statehouse. Let's all remember how he had tear gas blown at protesters so that he could pose with a bible before a church. Let's all remember that he's an old white man in power doing what old white men in power have done for eons, which is attempting to control individuals with fear and violence. 

It's a lot. 

A pandemic, 

a potential civil war, 

a fascist American monarchy, 

and white supremacy seeped so deeply into this society 

and consequently scattered inside of me. 

Again, I'm not looking for pity.  I will practice recognizing my white fragility (learn what this is if you don't know already) and the privileges I reap from centuries, or rather a whole history of savage white supremacy.  I will seek. I will act. I will change. I will be changed.