Friday, May 15, 2020

being there to say "I love you"


I can't keep from singing There are many ways to say I love you by Mr. Fred Rogers.

there are many ways to say
i love you
there are many ways to say 
i care about you
many ways
many ways
many ways to say
i love you

there are many ways to say
i love you
just by being there when things are sad and scary
just by being there
being there
being there to say
I love you

cleaning up a room can say 
i love you
hanging up a coat before you're asked to do it
making special pictures for the holidays
and making plays
you'll find many ways to say
i love you
you'll find many ways to understand what love is
many ways
many ways
many ways to say
i love you


I glanced at a news headline tonight. So now on and on my mind sings.

We cannot always be there to say "I love you." Not even now when things are truly sad and scary.

At this new time of social isolation, we are together in spirit and through screen, in phone call, text message, email, social media, and mailed letter. We are there not in skin, but we are together, proving our love by word, and by not being there in body.

"I love you," we say by staying away.

We can be strong. We can feel through these sad and scary feelings. We can weep at loneliness. We can feel the creeping insanity of uncertainty. We can sing. We can scream. We can grow from this. We can love harder during this time and then forever after this time. We can dance. We can remain in the solitary confinement of our separate homes, sending out love in every other way imaginable.

And that just needs to be enough for right now.

We can holler I love you from across the street, or from driveway to doorstep, or from between our parked cars. We can sit in awkwardness together as yet another video call freezes or an elder can't find their camera or the children can't keep from performing for each other and missing one another. We can call because we all feel better when we do. Even though we can't be there in body, we can be in our separate heres and still say, "I love you." Mr. Rogers was right. There are many ways to say it.

If you are reading this, I love you. Whether you are my 90-year-old grandmother, or we have never met. For that is the beauty of human empathy. I love you.

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