Yet, still, I ache.

Whenever I hear of a dog, I ache. Whenever I see a brown mutt, I hurt.

Is this regret? or just the pain of my reality?

I miss her every day.

I see her in my dreams. I have even awoken deep in the night, weeping. I can still feel her fur on my palms, her tongue on my knuckles and neck. I remember the bad too. I remember how she would startle me with sharp sudden barking. I remember how she would cause our guests to wince. I remember every bite.

Yet, still, I ache.

Last night, our child asked for a puppy.
I can't. Not yet. Maybe not for a long time.

Maybe not ever.