Sunday, January 17, 2010

CAUTION: needless profanity about poop and sex










As we brush our teeth late Saturday night, Scott berates me with silly, crude questions that make me laugh, gag and question our maturity.
Would you rather take a small bite of poop OR drink a large vat of saliva... someone else's saliva that has been sitting out, so it's warm saliva.
Saliva.
Ok ok ok, would you rather poop every two hours OR fart every five minutes?
Poop every two hours.
Would you rather have three boobs or no boobs at all?

Do I get nipples?

Yes, but you can't ever breast feed.


No boobs. My turn, would you rather be ass-raped by a crazy goblin who wants to snuggle with you in his dark scary cave until the sun comes up OR eat a steaming bowl of poop?


Ass rape. Because if he wants to snuggle that means he's not that bad, he's got a sensitive side.




Would you rather?

I would rather NOT.



But if I had to choose between eating a bowl of poop drizzled with maple syrup or a bowl of poop dressed with lemon juice.


I would choose maple syrup.