Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Cosmetic Store

A skinny slightly scary stranger with a thick coating of makeup on her own face, paints my cheeks and asks,  
"Do you exfoliate?"


"You really need to exfoliate."


"See here, you have some discoloration."

After a half an hour, she brings me to "The Eye Expert."

"Are you sure this is the right foundation for you?"

"I have to exfoliate."

"Oh yeah, yeah you really do, you really need to exfoliate."

"Yeah, she told me."

She paints one eye purple. I look like I have a black eye.

"I'm afraid, the bright purple eye liner with my goldish dress will make me look like a clown."

Oh shit.

"You think I made you look like a clown?"

"No that's not what I mean, I mean the purple and gold colors are clownish. Sometimes. No, I don't think I look like a clown."

"There are going to be pictures of you and if you don't have enough color, you're going to look washed out."

"Ok yeah, I like it."

"What do you want to buy? I don't work on commission, but I think you really need eye cream. What I always say when someone says they don't use eye cream, I say, so you want wrinkles?
At the counter, I am asked if I found everything I was looking for.

"Do you have makeup remover wipes?"