Whenever I hear of a dog, I ache. Whenever I see a brown mutt, I hurt.
Is this regret? or just the pain of my reality?
I miss her every day.
I see her in my dreams. I have even awoken deep in the night, weeping. I can still feel her fur on my palms, her tongue on my knuckles and neck. I remember the bad too. I remember how she would startle me with sharp sudden barking. I remember how she would cause our guests to wince. I remember every bite.
Yet, still, I ache.
Last night, our child asked for a puppy.
I can't. Not yet. Maybe not for a long time.
Maybe not ever.
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